bLaCk aNd BeAuTiFuL ..

heyyy... don't misunderstand me.. is not that i'm racist or anything its just something that popped in my head when i'm eating my cucur adabi... yum!!. SOO back to the topic, black and beautiful...

this article or essay is special for those people out there that always feel they are ugly, fugly(WTH they have this kind of terms too!!) , potato nosed, sepet eyes, always thinking you are fat(don't be bulimic please...!) , black or in malay terms(hitam!!! macam kuali nenek aku!) , kontot (short),and all sorts of things which i'm too tired to write.. ==' and so on bla bla bla bla bebebeblaa...

ALERT! ALERT! WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY IS GOING TO BE A BIT HURTFUL IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE AND NOTHING FOR THOSE SHITTY- IRRITATING- GOOD -FOR-NOTHING-BASTARD-SHARP-MOUTHED .... (i already gave you an alert rite.. so blame yourself for reading dumbass) Well if you think that you are fugly or whatever it is or already starting to believe what people teased about your physical looks, then you are really,truly,realitily and exactly PATHETIC!! face it you are pathetic... why on gods' name you listen to those bastards.. why in gods'name you even dare to think dat way.. you are beautiful even if people curses you..

they curse you,tease you because they can't understand your beauty, the things you have to do to make you accept and feel your very own beauty are:

1) girl.. or boy.. get some makeover do do do. get your ass to your mama or dada, your sister,

your brother, aunty, grandmama ,grandpapa, uncle , cousins, friends, sister.. wait i mention

that already.. well I don't give a damn who.. just ask for their help!! don't even think of

saying "tehehehe malulah(manja2 gedik2) eii nyampah akulah kaki nak! kaki! aku teranjang

tros meninggal.. you wanna be beautiful and outstanding, you cannot have that shyness in

yourself, nobody can help you unless you take the first step.. even tyra bank(whoo she is a

babe supermodel) if you don't know who is tyra bank just..just...just... go read a religious book

she also said that different beings are beautiful , to expose that beauty a little magic called

makeover which mainly consists of makeup will help you. if you ever heard of spring cleaning

pshh...! i call it spring-make-over!!

2) secondly, this method suits me better.. try to defend yourself by having a mouth fight..

RAWR!! me likey this method... ^^ however!! you have to learn how to take down your

opponent in a blink of eye, you need to learn on how to keep your poker face in poker mode,

how to speak up to your opponent, learn to make strong eye contact. Now this eye contact

thing will determine on how strong you are, usually people with high confidence or pure crazy

(like me.. sob sob sob) are able to repelled the eye contact back... and this will show to your

opponent that you are strong,tough,masculine(???) and i'm out of words..

I will like to remind you that method number 2 is highly dangerous, one wrong word and

bam!! you are stuck in a fight. For example if one guy said that "oii fatass outta my way you

junk asshole!!" your reaction will be....... tenet....tenet....tenet... what?? CRYING??! hell no!!

you should reply by doing this, turn around look at that person up and down again and again

and laugh.. LAUGH HYSTERICALLY if possible, and then mock him...MOCK him in a loud

voice.. at the end that person will be the one looking ashamed(works for me all the time)

if he looks like he's going to attack you physically.. just said that you are going to report to

the cops bcuz first of all he violated yourself by mocking you in public and secondly he wanted

to do physical attacks that would cost him more charges... and so at the end you might win or

lose.. (don't keep your hopes too high) teehheeh...

3) pray to god.. cry at him,weep at him,sleep by calling his name and eat with him!! this will

will always work... he is the one that made us, so he is the one that understand us best, don't

ever blame him or anything, just ask for his blessings and hope that he will send someone

down here to appreciate your beauty... hope and keep hoping.. the best thing that a human

can do is to hope.

i am writing this blog.. no this essay not to humiliate people, its just i'm trying as best as i could to help you recognize yourself,you beauty,your talent. i am not perfect human, i'm far from being perfect. even my dad mock me for being short ==' (thanks a lot dada , you really cheer me up)

see.. that is just one thing.. there is more about me that is imperfect but i'm too lazy to type.. i am black and beautiful! i am proud of that! ^^ so be proud of yourself too.. my target is to at least inspired one person to believe in their very own beauty.. that is plain it..

so beauty comes from your inner self, so have CONFIDENCE!! and rock the world!!

-ciao- <3

I AM NOT WHAT I AM....

I never really understand why sometimes people keep gushing and pushing us to do something that we don wanna do... When we want to speak people said shuttup!!!!!!!!! and we shut the hell up they asked us to say somethin..@#@$$$@!!! but nevertheless we just smile our most cute-angelic-develish-shitty smile and said "never mind go on without me" but in our mind we would said" hey you motherfuckin' make your shitty minds up and quit buggin when i'm tryin to say somethin!! yah piece of shittt...... ARGGGHHHHHHH seein ur face makes me wanna kick ur ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

But reality its too great....they snap us out of our imagination and pull us back to gravity...Seriously when we said whats on our mind they will start to cry and gasp,suddenly running away like in some hindhustand movie or somethin.... Good god.. hello!!! nobody's gonna tore after you.... Question: WHAT HAPPEN TO SHARING IS CARING??? well we share our thoughts with him or her and it shows that we care about them..... i never really get it... If we put up our fake face and let them do anything they pleased and we...WE.. end up in misreable!!!!!!!! WELL thats a real hypocrite people.

I AM NOT WHAT I AM is an adaption from othello by shakespear line from othello himself....
whats who's shakespear?? he's the gay guy that can write poems and dramas...
Still dunno who he is??? he's the guy that wrote ROMEO AND JULIET... okey got it ...
all his piece are mere magic and seriously spectacular...(if you can read old english) Othello is all about a knight in venice running a barons' daughter... they get married.. have some conflics....some killing parts and the ending... Interesting story...

Okay now back to the topic!!!!!!!! for the sake of names,family and face we have to push our pride away and start acting like a dummy... when people ask us to do something that we don't like we would zip our lips and do it without questioning anything... but in our head vice versa...
however credit is given to people like these... your patience must be high and you must be a really good actor or actress since you can do lots of different expressions in shocking times..
but if you refuse..... now,that's a problem... when we refuse they will start staring at us boldly to make us feel guilty.. At this point some of us will break and said "nevermind i'll do it..."
in our heart... GOD DAMMIT ME AND MY BIGMOUTH well that's true..

There are some ways to avoid these kind of guilty... at these rate please use the eastern ways of avoiding unecessary problems......

1) Start by appoligising and tell him/her why you don wanna help her... or make up some excusses..(GOOD ONES AND NOT STUPIDS ONE) but keep your face cool...

2) If she/he start staring at you like their eyeball gonna pop out....... make stupid- blur -face that you ever had and ask that person are you okay you look like you have seen a ghost... She will realise that u are a bubble-headed person that don't understand facial signal and leave you off

3) if that dosen't work.... well running away is not a good choice but if you can't stand that person just make horror face infront of them and start saying " arghhh my homework tak siap lagiiii"......
and start running away like a lunatique....

But please people method no 3 is only when you are desperate... and this is the most polite-sensible excusses that i have ever use... for personal choice i like method no 2... heheheheheh

i also would like to give out warning to those people whom like to follow other peoples request and not yourss... When you do these you might end up stuck in ur problem or you attitude might change overall. usually from positive to negative as a sign that you have been reborn again...
I love these kind of people because of their courage but please make sure you show off your skills in perfect timing... or people will think you are cuucoo....
When people ask you 'what happen????????? you use to be soo obedient and quiet" "do you have problems!!! did you get dumped by someone??? or my poor you...."

well just smiled and said "I AM NOT WHAT I AM" but when you guys are transform into another side of you , ask yourself are you happy or not?? if you are not stop being a winnie and find your own self... I KNow that a journey to find yourself its hard and it takes time , but if you want to save yourself we gotta take the first step..

WHAT???WHO'S THIS PERSON THAT KEEPS ON SAYING ABOUT PERSONALITY SPLIT AS IF SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING!!!!!????????

the truth is i write these things because i have undergo personality split..... at first its a bit scary but i am satisfied with myself, and my confidence increase...now i will surprise the world with my very own personalia and feel good about it.. I AM NOT WHAT I AM......

question: life should be hard..?! answer: if you only think its like that...

"Shh...Listen carefully,can you hear it? Can you feel it? Let me described it to you one more time,listen carefully". We are at a Lavander field now,soft and beautiful purple colour of the flower streched as far as the eyes can see.T he flowers sways delicately and harmonically following the gentle yet refreshing breeze.Thousands of flowers with the exact time dance gracefully in the wind,its like an ocean of peaceful purple flowers.The breeze is warm and welcoming,it rushes upon our skin gently that it freshen us up almost immediately.

The breeze carries the flower scent as well,the soft sweet smell calms our mind and put us in comfort,the sound of the breeze is like a lullaby sang by a maiden.The atmosphere is tranquil and the scenary is breathtaking,Its like heaven on earth with its shady weather,you can hear birds chirping happily together,animals chasing each other.You can feel the small soft petals of the lavander,it is an absolute sheer magic,the wind continously blowing.THE SUNLIGHT THAT SHINES DELICATELY,the beautiful oceanic like skies, with white pure cotton candies like clouds.The vast and haven colours of the floers.Its beauty is too great that words are not enough for it...

'What.. you can feel it now,you can hear it now,you can see it." "Good,go on,keep the imagination run wild and let fantasy take over us"