hai peeps! how are all of you? apparently i'm not an active writer who i thought i would be when i first made this blog. oh well, that happens when you create a blog out of trends.. sooner or later you'll just leave em' aside and let dust covered its whole existence. well getting depressed aren't we, lets move on to the main idea i want to talk about.
GETTING OVER AN OBSTACLE
sounds boring eh? heh.. this ain't some motivational speech i'm giving out, just sharing what i believed in when i face something hard in my life. okay lets start with the normal-boring-mukadimah shall we.
assalamualaikum and good-almost-midnight everybody.
as you all know, facing obstacles, getting hit hard on the head plus the face, falling down in slumps and feeling frustrated over something are actually common in a normal human's life. there is a saying on "you're not alone" each time you face a problem. come on, everybody has a problem sometimes even PROBLEMSSSS with triple S or more at the same damn time people and yes all of us hate problems. life problems, relationship problems, health problems, mental problems, back problems, math problems(one of the worst!)and just to name a few. lets be honest shall we, each time we have a problem, we always want to be comforted or attention from other people, namely who we trust in. therefore, we are being an attention seeker, in a healthy way of course. however, needed to be remind that supports are good, but its not enough to overcome and solve the problems and obstacles that we are facing. sooner or later we need to get all our nerves up and settle it. nobody can do it except us because basically, its our problem not theirs!
although problems and obstacles are great pain in the ass, they actually are the crucial things that shaped us to who we are. by getting our problem solved, we are actually completing our baby steps into being a much more matured and thinkable person than who we used to be. besides, tough times never last, but tough people do. once we overcome an obstacle, we get stronger and we have the experience to solve other similar problems that we are going to face in the future. so this is how i actually solve my problems
1. i'll go cursing and panic for a bit( depends on how serious the problem is)
what? i'm a human.. don't judge me! everybody curse! there is even studies that shows cursing is one of effective stress reliever. google it you! however, the loudness of my voice when i curse needs to be control depending on the environment i'm in. i can't possibly curse in front of kids can i? i would set a bad example.. ishh.
2. take a deep breath and calm myself down
usually, after i wasted 75% of my energy cursing and swearing, i'll calm down by taking a deep breath,also, i listen to music or read something(comic books!) that can help me be in peace, i talk too, for hours, more cursing of course but still... i'll calm down.tehehhek! after that, when i have no more energy to yell and scream, i settle down sensibly and normally on my bed or couch or chair and start working my neurons in my brain and squeezed them for ideas and solutions.
3. have you ever heard of listing your problems?
that is one of the common and effective method professionals people do when they face their problem, they sit down, they list their problems and immediately try to find the solutions. well, i don't do that, too lazy. what i do is, after i settle down on my bed or couch or chair, i would look up and create an imaginary pen and a imaginary notebook, then the imaginary pen will move on its own and scribble on the imaginary notebook on whatever i'm thinking at that time. WARNING! this method require focus, once you are distracted, everything will be lost and you have to do all over again! which is pain in the ass. oh well, double the pain double the fun.. banyaklah!
4. think people! think!
as i'm imagining, i think as well.. from the roots up to the youngest shoot. the cause, the whys, the hows, the wtfs, the whos, the whens and just to name a few, all of them jotted down and noted in my imaginary notebook. as i think, i try to look at the problems from 10 or 12 different perspectives as i can, observe it from two kinds of horizon and just keep my mind open and as wide as i can. this is to ensure that i get a thorough understanding of what i'm facing and come up with a good and concrete solutions. its quite simple actually, you just place yourself in someone else's shoes and questioned all their motives, then you question your own motives and how other people will solve your problems if they face it. you just need to question every single thing and if you manage to answer every freaking question you ask yourself, that means you got a grip of your problem.
5. advices and opinions
i know.. its common and boring. some people are shy to tell about their problems as they feel that their privacy would be revealed and their shames will be exposed to the whole world and later they will die, or so they think. that's why you talk to who you trust or to the pros, hey keeping your problems to yourself and solving it on your own is a sign of strength. that shows you are strong, but please don't be stupid enough to keep it bottled up until you sink in despair. communicate with people, ask for their ideas and opinions, start with " what would you do if...". you see, people are different from one another, so their thinkings are different too, by conversing you actually might get an idea on how to settle your problems.it would open up your mind, trust me, especially if you talk to those who had similar problems before. opinions and advices are different from lectures and nagging. they are more, gentle and soft, while the other two are certainly not!
6. be thankful
you know, we need to be thankful that god gave us one problem at a time, some people faced five or more problems at the same-bloody-time. i always said " aih, tak boleh nak banyak lagi kee" then take it back because i fear that more problems will rise unexpectedly. aish.. also, our problems are mostly small compare to those kids that are in war countries, the poors, the fugitive and the world. compare yourself with other bigger things and start counting your blessings then you will understand. truthfully, this method hardly works on me as it doesn't solve my problem and basically i was being selfish thinking about me and i want the world to focus about me not some raging war countries that doesn't have anything to do with me. but, as i practice this,i began to understand that my problem is small compare to those who are unfortunate and it made me believed that i can find the solution as it is much more simpler than two countries on war.
7. cry and whine if you have to
many people mistaken crying as a sign of weakness. well i also think crying is a sign of weakness but lets be logical shall we, all of us, individually are weak, so crying makes sense for me as long as you can control it.. we don't want a crybaby stomping and weeping non-stop.. mintak penampar namanya! same goes for whining, for me you can whine, as long as you solve your problem. as you solve, you whine, so people won't think negatively of you, i whine too when i have problems, but i don't sit around doing nothing hoping for my fairy godmother to solve it for me. i move around and try to solve my problems. same goes for crying, i cried.. a lot too.. but i'm no crybaby, i cry, i shower, i cry in the shower then i pull my shits together and face forward. its feels good to cry in the shower and let the water hit your head.. somehow relaxing.
8.don't give up
usually when you face a long term typed of problem you must try not to give up and keep moving forward. if solution A fails, you need back up plans all the way to solution Z, if that still doesn't work, go back to method number 5 and make new solutions begining with solution number 1 all the way down to 10, 100 or even 1000. sounds completely ridiculous and stupid right.. but that's how i do it, i refuse to give up until i'm completely beaten down, i'll go to method number 1 and 7, then start all over again. god is great, he never gives tests to his servants outside our limits. between effort,faith,not giving up and prayers, he will show us the path of solution, sometimes in the least expected way. there is a reason for everything that happen and keep walkng, if its not the end then you have to keep walking.
9.most importantly, tell your god about it
complain to him, he's your best listener, he is available anytime and anywhere. i read somewhere that our god sometimes misses us too because we tend to get busy and forget all about him, so he gives out test for us to be reminded of his existence as our creator.also, he likes it when we complain to him, no matter how stupid our problem is, he'll listen. but you need to communicate and contact him continuously of course, not temporarily, if not god knows what will happen to us.as we pray and asked for his guidance, we might even change ourselves for the better without realizing ourselves.if we change for his sake, surely he will help us out, that's what i think. some find this stupid, ridiculous and such. oh well its just an opinion and of course different people has different opinion so its fine (:
so i think that is pretty much what i do to overcome my obstacle,the methods are kinda off the hook but still useful i think. hehehehe well later on if i find a better and more appropriate methods.. i'll write about it :PP
till then..
toodley-huu!
